With a scarf knotted around his head, a hoop dangling from his left ear and his eyes black with mascara, Kirby Heyborne stands at the edge of the Great Salt Lake clutching a wooden sword.
It's 90-plus degrees under a merciless sun. Salt from the lake's briny waters covers Heyborne's legs, and thousands of pesky brine flies swarm about his face. He has every right to be miserable.
"I've never had so much fun on a shoot," says the blond, boyish actor best known to Utahns for his comic roles in such LDS-themed movies as "The Singles Ward," "The R.M." and "Sons of Provo." "I go home every day thinking this is the best experience of my life."
Heyborne is making "Pirates of the Great Salt Lake," a low-budget comedy being filmed in 19 days this month with little-known actors and a leaky rowboat. Pirates in landlocked Utah? Aye, go ahead an' laugh, ye scurvy dogs! - Salt Lake Tribune - Pirates of the Great Salt Lake
My word, this sounds very unappealing, and most unfilmable. I should much rather see a movie version of the book wot Nelson wrote, or possibly a novelisation of the blog wot Gus wrote. This project sounds rather like a Young Twits On Parade production of dubious benefit to anyone.
I should doubt whether anyone prepared to swoon at the sight of Messers Depp and Bloom will be plonking down any cash to see a load of gawkishly awkward milk-mustachio'd gits prancing playing "let's dress up like pirates."
Sounds like a great deal of derivative rubbish, and no swear words either.
3 comments:
no swear words? that tears it! of course, it is in utah, where no cussin' is allowed but you can marry multiple times. *scratches head* i don't get the logic there, but otay.
snuggs, hoistin' a tankard of grog in rememberance of the bad, good ol' days...or is that the good, bad ol' days? i'm so easily conflucked and confuzzled.....
I've read the script and worked on the film--it ain't what you think, not within rowing distance.
Rest assured thar's plenty of swear words and violence and sex. Oh, it's a pot of amoral stew fit fer kings it is.
Rubbish? Quite possible. Derivative? Milady, it's not.
Well, that's a bit of all right then, but still it seems unlikely to offer more than the odd yock now and again.
I am dispatching my dim Merrikan friend to investigate the matter personally at the week-end. She no doubt will fail utterly at this task, but will have a fairly thorough report on where one may obtain the best coffee and other bevvies.
I much misdoubt that she'll find anything like the dear old Grog Shoppe, even though we have fallen on evil days. Chad, cabana boy emeritus, has been gone for some time, so the female custom has dropped off right sharpish.
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