She then produced a laptop computer and opened it up. On the screen was live feed of me. “From your boat,” she continued, “you’ll see what the cameras in the S-1’s eyes see. That way you can be certain you’ve got the right whale. And when your whale swallows the S-1, you remotely detonate the five pounds of C-3 [a powerful explosive, and enough of it to total a destroyer] in its tail.”
Romance is in the air, but is it for the beautiful yet mysterious arms fabricator, or for her high-tech whale-killing giant exploding squid?
I'm rather an "old school" gel when it comes to budding romance in the yarns I follow. And it appears that this yarn is about to "het" up nicely.
I have ordered some roses - bright yellow ones for now, with a few single red ones. In sympathetic magickal terms, I'm propositioning the fates that this budding acquaintanceship might blossom into friendship for poor lonely Gus, and perhaps bloom into romance.
The roses will look lovely on the back bar; yellow bouquets with one single red rose each. Heaven! And when the petals are at their height, I shall make rose liquor.
In the meantime, we still have an unfortunate excess of tequila in stock, so perhaps I'll take a hint from a competitor and serve it from a spray nozzle attached to a portable tank.
A bit more raucous, perhaps, but it seems the momentum in Gus' quest is building towards... something. We might as well be stripped for action and ready for anything (this will probably make nikola's day, if she's not in jail already).
8 comments:
dear miz b:
they say confession is good for the soul, and i have confessed *all* on gus' recent blog post. which means we might expect the imminent arrival of miz edna, armed with a cleaver and looking for yours truly. erm. could we just tell her that i'm currently on sabbatical? or maybe the judge will allow me to serve nikola's sentence on her behalf. that certainly seems preferable to meeting up with miz edna and her cleaver.
*note to self*: when incantating, use a bookmark.
snuggs
Oh, dear, this is starting to sound most distressingly like the disastrous "solution" from Romeo and Juliet.
Practical matters first; we shall have to install metal detectors at all the entries, along with extremely large industrial-strength electromagnets.
It's cheaper to disarm someone with a smile, but more reliable to disarm them with a magnetic field strong enough to capture weaponry (and the occasional surgical steel plate).
I hope Edna will not take your spell-casting amiss, I'd better stock up on sympathetic tea and consolatory sherry. However, nicely confessed.
oh lordy! *frets*
miz edna wants me to un-do it! but once you utter those 4 lil words....'so mote it be,', it be's mote. reversing incantations is in the *advanced backyard druid's guide to charms, incantations and runes,* and my copy has been backordered for months now. the whole premise of reformed-born-again-southern-baptist-druidic ritual is: you can only incantate for *good*. like keeping stupid george tied up so gus and the boys don't get killed was a good thing. if there's powerful emotions already begun between gus and miss squid thang...well, i can't work against love.
i'm *so* doomed. might as well get skyclad and drink up the tequila surplus.
snuggs
OMG, so you stole Louis De Bernieres' computer (author of captain corelli's mandolin). I am reporting you t o the policia.
erm, what does turnin' a holding incantation into a love incantation have to do with senor b's computer? did i miss a memo?
snuggs
HEY!
(door to Mrs. B's slams open with a thud)
Where the hell did I say anything about an axe or a need to cut or kill? Matter of fact....I've never even touched a .......well, never mind, there was that one time. Mrs. B. please.....serve 'em up for everyone...even Snuggs there hiding behind the bar.
Like I said, I 'aint, chasing after no man, Gus included. Incantation or not....This is up to Gus. Choice is his.
He's had the best now if he's after the rest ......
his loss...
Just steams me that's all. I left the kids with their
Grandma again....mainly to get off and have a drink..with the gals.
I'm much too angry to look at a male right now.
And Gus had the nerve,.....the dang blasted nerve to offer a fix-me up.....like I needed that....
eerrruughhhh......!!!!
I'm thinking it's about time to tell the real tale..about the arm loosin'..
So belly-up(or would that be boobies-up) to the bar gals if you're interested. Drinks are on me.
And Ugg boots. Anyone interested in a pair?
My Hummer is loaded with free samples...
Edna
Erm, it's not in my Filofax.
Good heavens, Edna! What a capital idea. It's high time for a nice booze-up hen party.
With, of course, hen porn. That ought to smooth over the ruffled feathers.
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