Fools' Charade

“You and what navy are going to stop us?” I asked Verman. Other than a ceremonial sword, he was unarmed.

“I and my Employee of the Year,” he replied with a nod towards Nelson. On cue, Nelson drew his pistol.


P.S. Note to other captains: You may not want to let traitorous former pirates among your crew have one of these:

Speaking of the Navy, it's about ruddy time that Knucz person showed up and earned his pay with his zingy dingy or zippy ship or what-you-will. It seems to me that Gus and the dear blubbery pod-revenging whale (no B., he) shall be as small fry in the U.S. Navy's sight(s). He's more interested in Verman and Dealer Dan. I do wonder what Mutherford (or as snuggs calls him, Mo-fritterford, was doing there. But I must say I am quite disappointed in Nelson. Quite, quite disappointed. Good job I'm impervious to that sort of nonsense. Still, it's a pity, as he's rather decorative.

Let this be a lesson to you, my dear gels, never to trust a bold rogue, no matter the twinkle in his eye or the glad (single) hand he offers in seeming chumship. And I do hope dear Sybil becomes a little less sulky soon. She should think of the benefits of widowhood and kick her bridegroom overboard.

However, should no one show up to effect a deus-ex-whaleboat rescue at the last possible second, Gus and his (loyal) crew will simply have to rescue themselves. I'm trying not to give Nelson any clews as to what I'm suggesting Gus might be able to do, but it's very frustrating that our dear captain is not as up on Broadway show tunes as he might be from famous musicals made from the works of Damon Runyon (I recommend the movie version with Frankie, Brando, and of course dear Stubby Kaye).

Perhaps I'd better resort to charades:

*mimes "song"
*mimes "14 words"
(crowd looks resigned but feigns interest as snuggs serves a free round for all)

*sits down*
*sits down*
*sits down again*
*sits down again*
*sits down yet again*

*points at patron in front row*
*mimes someone swaying to and fro whilst seated*
(someone shouts "You're having a wobbler!" and someone else shouts "No, you pissah! She's Whistler's Mum")

*shakes head, shakes hands "no, no, no, that's not right"
*sits and bends forward and backwards as if in pain*

(another patron shouts "you need more roughage" and "No more chili peppers, evah")
(a matron calls out "you're off your rocker, ye daft Betty - OO-er! Rocking!!)

*mimes "on the nosie"*
*repeats "sit down" and indicates "five"*
*points at crowd*

(crowd confused, then shouds "you")

*whilst sitting, rocks back and forth*

("Rocking!" they all shout. "You're rocking")

*mimes "on the nosie" again*
*mimes a sort of graceful dipping, swimming, floating motion*
*mimes an additional side to side rocking*

"OOO-ooo!" cried out the youngest McFinster "Get down, get down, you got the rockin' pneumonia and the boogie-woogie flu!"

*mimes utter frustration, shaking head and indicating "cut, cut, cut"*
*mimes throwing out trash*

(youngest McFinster is summarily ejected)

*mimes "get it right this time, you nest of drink-addled vipers"*
*mimes sitting, indicates "5 times"

(crowd restless. Shouts of "Yes, yes, 'siddown' already.")

*mimes "on the nosie" rather triumphantly, with an air of approaching the finish line*
*mimes rocking"

(crowd chants "you're rocking" in a bored manner)

*mimes the mysterious floating movement, indicating a volume of space around her*

(a thin voice shouts from the back "whale on the beach" and is forcefully escorted out by snuggs)
*mimes paddling the mysterious dipping floating volume, rather angrily*

"I've GOT it," calls out one of the New Yorkers. "Is it 'I'd like to get you on a slow boat to China, all to myself, alone?'" "No, you schmuck, that's fifteen words. Siddown, you're rockin' the bench," said the other. "OOOOOOO!!!" the entire crowd murmurs, very nearly excitedly

*mimes a frenzied "more, more, nearly on the nosie, just a bit more"*

Chad bursts out singing "Luck, be a lady tonight!" to a large round of congratulatory applause.

*mimes "I give up, last call. Time, gentlemen, please" and stalks off to the snuggery, disgusted*

Well, really, I can't make it clearer than that, or Nelson will *whispers* sit down. Though I should very much like to know what the nature of Verman's arrangement with Nelson is. I expect he gets a good discount at the sporting houses, as well. Which would make an admirable distribution network, one supposes. For that Bolivian marching powder that seems to have been part of the story from the very beginning, as it turns out.