Gus Gets Right With The Gods Off Guava Island

So now we’re are sitting here in the patrol boat, bobbing up and down, checking out the tangerines dotting the leeward face of Mt. Guava, and waiting. Thesaurus is praying, hard, to several of his gods, and the rest of us, even though we’ve never heard of none of them, are inclined to join him.

My dears, it's amazing how Gus has persevered in his quest, only to find himself with time on his hands, waiting for Nelson to come back after making the Mother of all drug deals with a brand-new whaling vessel of some sort.

It's a relief to the mind that at heart Gus is an ethical man, if a somewhat crotchety one. And it's good that he and the others are getting in touch with their spiritooal selves. And at last! The whale-killing expedition is where it belongs - out on the bounding main. Or as a dear friend used to call it, "the big blue wet thing."

As you may know, my dears, our intrepid lads found some porn in the patrol boat, while checking it for supplies and any stray Swiss bank account numbers left scribbled on a Post-It note. So they are not entirely without resources in the entertainment department as they wait for Nelson and the others to return.

One incentive for Nelson to return: his sporting house will do land-office business if this crew ever hits port, and he'll make back all expenses and more.

A warning to Gus: there are more Pirates in the waters off Guava Island than you can shake a wooden leg at! Prepare to repel boarders - check for cutlasses in the hold. Or, he might pick up a tidy profit shipping some of those tangerines for the local ship's chandlery.

In the meantime, where the Devil is the horrible blubbery B. whale??

Edited to make a minor correction in the interests of journalistic accuracy...