Wednesday, October 20

For She's A Jolly Good Barmaid

Taking a page from the playbook of Gus, I should like to announce the Grog Shoppe "Employee of the Quarter." Though it was a difficult decision, the very first honours go to my dear snuggs, for service above and beyond the call of duty (not to mention above the call of "time, gentlemen, please").

She leaps into action arranging, re-arranging, and organizing, and I simply could not do it without her. Not only that, but she runs interference with the McFinsters; I shan't go into much detail but what she as to deal with puts untold levels of meaning into the phrase "damage control."

She has been working extra hard as of late keeping things running smoothly and making sure hopelessly drunk patrons are smartly dragged out to the street in the morning escorted to the curb to await transportation. What with the extremely high number of major and minor debauches lately, it has been a rather exhausting few weeks, and snuggsie (if I may be so bold) has done much of the heavy lifting (that second McFinster is very solidly built).

snuggs is therefore awarded EOQ, along with a n'increase in pay AND paid time for educational, cultural, and spiritooal pursuits (otherwise known as "me time for snuggses"). Also unlimited free massages from Hankules and whatever other personal services Chad the cabana boy may offer (I maintain a strict "don't ask, don't tell" policy there).

In other words, I think the world of you, dear snuggs, but you mustn't be like those Japanese sararimen working themselves to death. You must think of yourself sometime instead of always taking care of everybody else's needs. Though you are certainly indispensible, we can muddle along now and then if you choose to take some yoga classes, visit health spas, and indulge in the pleasanter aspects of New-Agey what-nottery.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

myyyy dddeaaarrrr miiizzz bbb....

*sniffs and just plumb gives over to a moment of squallin'*

i am so very touched by this honor, you have no idea. *blushes and chokes momentarily on a medicinal shot of grand marnier*. considerin' the stellar bunch of fellow employees that i share the snuggery with, i am just...well, overwhelmed is a very good word. and thank you miz b, for hirin' me on in the first place; my achin' feet and the mcfinster brothers aside, it's been quite the party. i had my oscar speech all prepared, should i ever win that lil gold man, but i suspect i'd probably need to take an actin' class or two first. but perhaps it would serve just as well now: "i'd like to thank all the lil people, on whose backs i had to step to get where i am today." only, there are no lil people, just the mcfinister brothers acting as a human mounting blocks to the jacuzzi. *sniffs and wipes away fresh tears* dangit, someone coulda told me to wear the waterproof mascara. as a southern belle, i try to adhere to the adage, 'it's ok to cry, it is NOT ok to look like a raccoon.

y'all pardon me a moment while i borrow bob's scrimshaw off the mantlepiece and go compose myself in the back garden.

*stumbles out gracefully on her finally broken-in manola's*

Anonymous said...

hear, hear.

can't think of a better person to honor.
I'm already raising my glass to you snuggs.
hiccup!!!

myrtle

Anonymous said...

I agree. She's always been a real good gal to me.


signed,

Chad

Anonymous said...

oh my goodness,

chad can actually speaks

wonders never cease!

cat
(and I thought he was only good for one thing...)

Anonymous said...

awwwwwwww....all of your lovely words pert near make me wanna squall again, especially yours chad. i never knew. *dries a runaway tear*. all right ladies and gentlemen, fine honor as this is, and one i will always cherish---one can't rest forever on one's laurels. *produces The To Do List:* i've inventory to take, nag champtha to stock, chapter 17 of the Backyard Druids Lil Big Book of blah blah blah to read (the mail-in quiz is due thursday) and a new pair of manola's to break in. again, however...i thank y'all kindly for your words of support and singin' of happy songs. tits are up and i am feelin' the love.

snuggs