Bother, at this rate the blubbery B. whale will be extinct before ever Gus can take his just revenge in the little matter of the eaten family and arm...
6 comments:
Anonymous
said...
miz b:
i'm on my way to church at the Oak Grove Reformed Southern Baptist Druid Temple of the What's Happening Now. I'll ask the congregation to join in a karmic snoopy dance for gus and the boys. i'll light a sage smudge and try not to think impure thoughts about flarq/clarq and the intriguin' possibilities of menage a trois. *genuflects and crosses legs* who knew those yoga classes would come in so handy?
have a lovely sunday afternoon. i'll be back in time for the topless volleyball game in the back garden.
*hands you the smellin' salts and a bottle of glenfiddich*. he'll come around for the salts; just make sure you pour a good fourth of that bottle down his throat. and tell him, next time---don't be so clever about where he plays hide and seek.
Well, if we had a wheelbarrow that would be something.
And perhaps a block and tackle.
I know, I know, not very traditional, but we don't want anyone getting hurt, and it's very orkward filling out workwenches' compensation forms with comments like "strained back lifting unconscious incognito vice copper into wheelbarrow for the better disposal of same." So let's all lift together; I implore you to bend the knees and keep the back straight.
If this doesn't work, we'll have to stuff him in an empty barrel and and roll him out, bold as brass. And for the love of Heaven let it be before the ruddy roundheads get out of their late prayer-and-tattle meeting.
You need to address the poor man's hypothermia. I think an IV of pure Kentucky bourbon and a hot toddy enema should do. Don't know about that lifting though. Maybe you can get the Cabana boy that was stolen from me to help out (although I must say that is not his specialty in life.) good luck I'm otta here.
we may be the fairer sex, but by gum & by golly....you certainly can't call us the less ingeneous one. niki, you are nothing short of amazin'; i especially liked the fulcrum manuever. i'm sorry i was about as useless at busoms on a boar. i got caught between two of our larger guests when i went up to spike durin' the game. lawdy, if they didn't put a hurtin' on me. if volleyball is goin' to be a contact sport, than i'm puttin' my sports bra back on!
brava and ^(")'s (that would be high paws from the cats) to our illustrious kitchen wench. she possesses a wide vengeful streak. we can use this, if necessary.
note to cat: awww, c'mon....you have a *bevy* of cabana boys; we have just the one. and he came voluntarily. followed the green m & m's right to the....erm, voluntarily, yes indeedy.
miz b: our club president asked me if you would give the speech at the lec&ts meeting on tuesday evening. the topic is "entreprenurial eve: on your feet, not your back---unless you really want to." it would seem you are the perfect choice to address this topic. i know you have a wealth of information that could only be helpful to the rest of us, if you don't mind sharing some of your management secrets. also on the program this week is a demonstration of *naughty cake making* (we will be eatin' the evidence) as well as *advances in torture techniques* by the local pilates instructor Barbie Bitchmeister and we'll learn a new stitch called the *whipped spider's wheel*. that does sound rather appropriate, doesn't it? may we borrow chad the cabana boy for the dessert portion of the evening? we thought perhaps he could....serve.
Another satisfied customer. It makes the bosoms swell with pride (drat this corset!). However, I'm concerned that the Shoppe will become known as a crab house in the worse meaning of the word. Well done nikola.
In order to counteract this erroneous impression, and for the better getting rid of the evidence, tomorrow is Two-for-One Tuesday Seafood Special.
We might warn the gentleman privateer with the shoulder lobster that he might want to stay away tomorrow, lest his pet be mistaken for an item on the menu.
And so another day begins. Have a lovely one, my dears.
6 comments:
miz b:
i'm on my way to church at the Oak Grove Reformed Southern Baptist Druid Temple of the What's Happening Now. I'll ask the congregation to join in a karmic snoopy dance for gus and the boys. i'll light a sage smudge and try not to think impure thoughts about flarq/clarq and the intriguin' possibilities of menage a trois. *genuflects and crosses legs* who knew those yoga classes would come in so handy?
have a lovely sunday afternoon. i'll be back in time for the topless volleyball game in the back garden.
snuggs
niki:
*hands you the smellin' salts and a bottle of glenfiddich*. he'll come around for the salts; just make sure you pour a good fourth of that bottle down his throat. and tell him, next time---don't be so clever about where he plays hide and seek.
snuggs
p.s. i'm confuzzled; sheets on or off?
Well, if we had a wheelbarrow that would be something.
And perhaps a block and tackle.
I know, I know, not very traditional, but we don't want anyone getting hurt, and it's very orkward filling out workwenches' compensation forms with comments like "strained back lifting unconscious incognito vice copper into wheelbarrow for the better disposal of same." So let's all lift together; I implore you to bend the knees and keep the back straight.
If this doesn't work, we'll have to stuff him in an empty barrel and and roll him out, bold as brass. And for the love of Heaven let it be before the ruddy roundheads get out of their late prayer-and-tattle meeting.
Niki,
You need to address the poor man's hypothermia. I think an IV of pure Kentucky bourbon and a hot toddy enema should do. Don't know about that lifting though. Maybe you can get the Cabana boy that was stolen from me to help out (although I must say that is not his specialty in life.) good luck I'm otta here.
cat
we may be the fairer sex, but by gum & by golly....you certainly can't call us the less ingeneous one. niki, you are nothing short of amazin'; i especially liked the fulcrum manuever. i'm sorry i was about as useless at busoms on a boar. i got caught between two of our larger guests when i went up to spike durin' the game. lawdy, if they didn't put a hurtin' on me. if volleyball is goin' to be a contact sport, than i'm puttin' my sports bra back on!
brava and ^(")'s (that would be high paws from the cats) to our illustrious kitchen wench. she possesses a wide vengeful streak. we can use this, if necessary.
note to cat: awww, c'mon....you have a *bevy* of cabana boys; we have just the one. and he came voluntarily. followed the green m & m's right to the....erm, voluntarily, yes indeedy.
miz b: our club president asked me if you would give the speech at the lec&ts meeting on tuesday evening. the topic is "entreprenurial eve: on your feet, not your back---unless you really want to." it would seem you are the perfect choice to address this topic. i know you have a wealth of information that could only be helpful to the rest of us, if you don't mind sharing some of your management secrets. also on the program this week is a demonstration of *naughty cake making* (we will be eatin' the evidence) as well as *advances in torture techniques* by the local pilates instructor Barbie Bitchmeister and we'll learn a new stitch called the *whipped spider's wheel*. that does sound rather appropriate, doesn't it? may we borrow chad the cabana boy for the dessert portion of the evening? we thought perhaps he could....serve.
*toddles off for a soak in epsom salts*
snuggs
Another satisfied customer. It makes the bosoms swell with pride (drat this corset!). However, I'm concerned that the Shoppe will become known as a crab house in the worse meaning of the word. Well done nikola.
In order to counteract this erroneous impression, and for the better getting rid of the evidence, tomorrow is Two-for-One Tuesday Seafood Special.
We might warn the gentleman privateer with the shoulder lobster that he might want to stay away tomorrow, lest his pet be mistaken for an item on the menu.
And so another day begins. Have a lovely one, my dears.
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