It's A Pisser: A Match And A Puzzle

At day’s end, even Mutherford was in a lighthearted mood. I found myself standing next to him in the W.C. (the tavern’s term for the wooden planks with holes at the ends sticking out over the stream out back). The intimacy was kind of awkward. As an icebreaker I challenged him to a swordfight. He was relieved to hear that I didn’t mean with actual swords, and that I was just yanking his anchor chain anyway.

A red letter day - Gus revealed as a tragic, rather rumpled hero type. That'll be a relief to the staff, who were dreading a repeat of the Mutherford and Nelson fiaschi. They will enjoy weeping over his troubles and lighting candles and sage smudges and such, now that they can picture his dishevelle' and manly appearance more accurately.

I think Gus' portrait will look well in a place of honor on the back bar - I have a nice old mahogany frame that should do. Some candles, some flowers in a brass vase (bronze chrysanthemums, nothing too feminine) and some of snuggs' incense going, and we can properly focus our attention and hopes on Gus' plight.

I think we shall omit chanting for now; "Nam Myo Ho Renge Gus" doesn't quite scan somehow. Still, it has a certain "sumpin sumpin" that might grow on one, rather like a rash.

I'm afraid we'll have to move Flarq's scrimshaw to the ladies' snuggery, which will probably make snuggs extremely happy. As it's only used for consuming sherry, biscuits and a little genteel gossipmongering, though, perhaps Flarq might "go" better in the Club Room.

There! Now that's sorted. It's almost as if "Changing Rooms" came through and did a blitz redecorating job.

The two California whales are a puzzlement. I wonder if they're the ones with a newly-discovered species of undersea worms snacking on their bones. Surely they died natural deaths! Surely Gus will turn out to have an alibi - he was in Washington State buying his original boat and getting his special dispensation whaling license in June, and we don't know when the 2 whales met their doom in California.

We need a private Dick, that's what we need. Or perhaps a public Dick, if the former is in an undisclosed location and not to be found. Someone needs to investigate the evidence.

It's likely we'll discover more as the days go on, but Mutherford's actions and motives are something of an enigma. And I harbor a secret hope in my bosom that the Judge will leaven his justice with mercy, but who can say anything for certain of a man with a "thing" for pelicans.

And surely the legal matter is completely out of Guavan jurisdiction anyway. Mutherford should recuse himself on account of being entirely too fond of cetaceans.

Smells like "thingery" to me. H'rrrrum!