Now my dears, when the time comes, no hair-pulling It's not nice and the gentlemen seem to think it's funny in a way that makes my blood boil. Remember, that Nelson is a scalliwag and a trickster and a no-good piratical surfer dude... so whichever of you is the unlucky gel that he's sweet on, the rest of us should be supportive and sisterly and all that utter rot.
Well, at the very least try to avoid drawing blood, and may the best barmaid/doxy/maid of all work/female supernumerary win.
Of course, we all know it's a member of our staff, because we have the Best Little Grog-Shoppe in Bristol!
I'll stand by with tea, sympathy, and rather a lot of whiskey and iodine if need be.
7 comments:
a wise girlfriend once told me: 'snuggs, it's ok to cry in public. it's not ok to look like a raccoon.' with that in mind and calculating the various numbers of females on varyin'levels of estrogen that reside and/or work here, i picked up 4 dozen tubes of water-proof mascara in various shades. it's behind the bar stashed in the crown bags. take one all comers. because nelson really is kinda cute. even if he can be a schmuck.
*goes off to roll bandages*
Well, just be careful, dearie, and don't say I didn't warn you. Now, if you have a nice mink brown... it's so hard to find the right shades of makeup once one resorts to henna.
dear miz b:
there was *one* tube of the mink brown left; i stashed it in my purse and forgot to give it to you. i almost dropped a case of the tequila when i walked in on a hair-pullin', nail-sharpenin' fight between two of the girls this afternoon. over nelson already. tackytackytacky. those girls have been watchin' entirely too many back episodes of wrestlin' in preparation for the jello thingy. i just lost my concentration all together and had to recount bottls 3 times. iffen you don't mind, i think i'll just sit here by the medicinal grand marnier and wait until nursing assistance is required. if i can stitch up a dog, i can take care of these girls....four legs, two legs, there's no real difference. and besides, niki's right. girlfriends don't brawl over a man. that's *their* job.
*toddles off to cuddle up wiff the brandy snifter*
snuggs
I should write that recipe down and call it "Tea and Sympathy." It might come in handy.
Probably should substitute bitters or quinine for the iodine, however.
why thank you, niki. *curtsies* you know us southern girls apply ourselves to our needlework from a very young age. it's a skill that's come in handy a time or two. ooooh, count me in for a soak in the hottub! i never did get a chance to change into my tennis shoes, and my tootsies are hollerin'. i'll be there as soon as i finish up the inventory---we really did go through the champagne tonite!. gimme 15, and i'll be the one in the bunny slippers, holdin' the godiva!
snuggs
Now where is that bathing suit? The oriental gentleman who sold it to me on a long-ago South Seas trip assured me it was "very pretty, very proper."
If it were just us gels I wouldn't bother, but I got cited for scaring draught animals the last time I had to hop out and tend bar. Men in pubs waiting for the pull of a pint can be such beasts.
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