It's the little things in life that make it bearable, dear; a large noggin of grog certainly can't hurt.
Friday, July 16
NOW it's raining men... or something
There! That's got the foam whatchamijigger blowing like a grampus. I'll just warn you, ladies, that Things Happen when you're covered with foam, so carry a cricket-bat with you if you decide to work the dance floor.
Oh clever gel! "Big Spender," please. In the key of "V" for "Vamp." And here's me old feather boa and a cheeky fedora. Now then... best suck it up and settle my bosoms on TOP of my corset for a change.
And a one and a two: The minute you walked in the joint [ba-RUMP]..."
miz b, how did you know that was the theme song for the lec&ts? brilliant deduction on your part.
niki, i can't seem to get out from behind the bar. *passes you the sugar cannister* just in case you make it out to the parkin' lot. *eg* the prescient miz b had me order lashings of visine, so i'm stocked! and we do neither the gator *nor* the rock lobster, even on request. well, if they donate to the orphan's fund, we might be persuaded. ditto on any dances that require funny red upside flower pots on our heads.
i've never been to a rave before. aren't we supposed to have pacifiers or something? *waves glo-stix*
*uploads my 1700 plus music/comedy library to miz b's blog* this will work til we get the victrola fixed or some sweet gentleman buys the ladies a wurlizter.
Good Lord, there's a run on the bar! Delicious! Time to ring the changes on every beer engine we've got, which requires strength, courage (John Courage? That'll be a quid, sir) and some acrobatic graces. I can simultaneously pull a creamy pint of Guinness at one end of the engine stand, and a half of Fuller's Honeydew Ale if I just stretch out my left leg... just so, and high-kick behind the lever. Good job I've no ladders in me stockings.
Now then, my thirsty pets, what will you be having? We pride ourselves on the quality of head given.
Egads, what a lot of trash is left lying about after one of these looney raving revels. I keep tripping over things that turn out to be snoring. Time for a spot of breakfast and an eye-opener.
*yawns and hands you 'da bomb'* that would be a triple strength latte with a b-52 in it. i think we're gonna need it. i could be wrong, but i think the kaka is about to hit the oscillator with gus and the briny boys. i should have known just one sage smudge wouldn't hold 'em.
i hope you're goin' to be in around 2, miz b. *scuffles toe on the floor* i um....played strip rock-paper-scissors with mr. schmedlep of the city council last nite. best 2 out of 3. *hangs head* i know you don't approve of the staff gamblin', miz b...but it seems mr. schmedlep is a lil self-conscious about the girth of his love handles and his lack of girth elsewhere. so i offered him a respectable out. the wurlizter will be delivered at 2 pm.
there's a young man out front, would like to know if we have an opening for a cabana boy. he'd like to speak with you. *licks lips* do we? pleaseohpleaseohplease?
Dear me! He's not a noodle-headed alien, is he? Rock-paper-scissors is often used to settle disputes in their culture, ever since the arrival of the frelling Erpman, Crichton.
7 comments:
Oh clever gel! "Big Spender," please. In the key of "V" for "Vamp." And here's me old feather boa and a cheeky fedora. Now then... best suck it up and settle my bosoms on TOP of my corset for a change.
And a one and a two: The minute you walked in the joint [ba-RUMP]..."
miz b, how did you know that was the theme song for the lec&ts? brilliant deduction on your part.
niki, i can't seem to get out from behind the bar. *passes you the sugar cannister* just in case you make it out to the parkin' lot. *eg* the prescient miz b had me order lashings of visine, so i'm stocked! and we do neither the gator *nor* the rock lobster, even on request. well, if they donate to the orphan's fund, we might be persuaded. ditto on any dances that require funny red upside flower pots on our heads.
i've never been to a rave before. aren't we supposed to have pacifiers or something? *waves glo-stix*
*uploads my 1700 plus music/comedy library to miz b's blog* this will work til we get the victrola fixed or some sweet gentleman buys the ladies a wurlizter.
*toddles off to make more slammers*
snuggs
Good Lord, there's a run on the bar! Delicious! Time to ring the changes on every beer engine we've got, which requires strength, courage (John Courage? That'll be a quid, sir) and some acrobatic graces. I can simultaneously pull a creamy pint of Guinness at one end of the engine stand, and a half of Fuller's Honeydew Ale if I just stretch out my left leg... just so, and high-kick behind the lever. Good job I've no ladders in me stockings.
Now then, my thirsty pets, what will you be having? We pride ourselves on the quality of head given.
On the **Guinness, gentlemen. On the Guinness.**
ahem.
*if we can't serve it on a tray, we don't have it.*
Egads, what a lot of trash is left lying about after one of these looney raving revels. I keep tripping over things that turn out to be snoring. Time for a spot of breakfast and an eye-opener.
*yawns and hands you 'da bomb'* that would be a triple strength latte with a b-52 in it. i think we're gonna need it. i could be wrong, but i think the kaka is about to hit the oscillator with gus and the briny boys. i should have known just one sage smudge wouldn't hold 'em.
i hope you're goin' to be in around 2, miz b. *scuffles toe on the floor* i um....played strip rock-paper-scissors with mr. schmedlep of the city council last nite. best 2 out of 3. *hangs head* i know you don't approve of the staff gamblin', miz b...but it seems mr. schmedlep is a lil self-conscious about the girth of his love handles and his lack of girth elsewhere. so i offered him a respectable out. the wurlizter will be delivered at 2 pm.
there's a young man out front, would like to know if we have an opening for a cabana boy. he'd like to speak with you. *licks lips* do we? pleaseohpleaseohplease?
snuggs
Dear me! He's not a noodle-headed alien, is he? Rock-paper-scissors is often used to settle disputes in their culture, ever since the arrival of the frelling Erpman, Crichton.
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